Just Call Me Coach!

I've always found joy in helping other people. Those small things like holding the door for someone with a big stroller or offering to help on a project with a colleague. But there are some times where the help someone needs can't just be given - no matter how much we wish we could. So many of us experience the "Advice Monster" roaring when someone comes to us for help. But doling out advice and telling people what to do rarely accomplishes the best outcome. And it's a lot of work to take on everyone else's issues and problems... This is where the ideas and practical advice from The Coaching Habit come into handy! It's really about how you can coach someone else through key questions to come to their own right answer. I really liked how the book walked you through each of the potential phases of a conversation - it was honestly a super easy read, but one I can see myself going back to certain sections to refresh.


One of my favorite parts was the discussion of the Karpman Drama Triangle - where you have three main personas: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer. I have totally felt like I've been each of these in different scenarios. But being able to conceptualize these patterns better will help guide the next questions.


The other concept that really stuck with me was the TERA concept. How each of us likely unconsciously does the run through:

T= Tribe - "Are you with me, or against me?"

E= Expectation - "Do I know the future or don't I?"

R = Rank - "Are you more important or less important than I am?"

A= Autonomy - "Do I get a say or don't I?"


Visualizing how these concepts might impact the decision making for someone can definitely help you realize that without knowing all the parts, you can't just give someone the fix. They need to process these too and then through helpful, intentional, and curious questions - you can help them find the answer.

Check out even more ideas on the website Box of Crayons!


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